Don't tell me I need more confidence

Do you think I don't know this? Do you think I like being constantly petrified of being asked a question? Don't tell me something so blatantly obvious. I don't like feeling like this, but I can't help it! If I knew how to change this, do you think I wouldn't? Don't patronise me, thinking you know what goes on in my head, you don't know the half of it. Everyone is cracked, everyone fears something, everyone gets nervous. It just happenes to me all the time. I don't want to worry that people judge me for getting an answer wrong because my mind has frozen. I don't want my voice to shake when I do a presentation. I don't want to feel like this. But I don't know how to change it. Now please, respect it... and if you must tell me I need mkre confidence, help me figure out how to get it. Don't just remind me.

"Popular"

Sat with my cello, under the boiling stage lights, listening to a rendition of some song that I can't remember now that it's over, I had an epiphany.

For five years, I have felt alone and unloved. Actually, more like ten years, but at varying levels of intensity. Until I was sat with my cello, under the boiling stage lights,  listening to a rendition of some song that I can't remember now that it's over. I realised that I am not alone. That I have friends, and while I'm jot one of the "popular" girls, I am popular with my friends. Yes okay, my circle of friends isn't gigantic, but they exist.

And the same goes for you, you may not have a million friends, but you will have some. You may feel unloved, but I promise you're not. You may feel like no one cares, but I do.
Pheonix Feather.